Have you noticed that everyone who is into the zombie survival genre has a robotic yet logical reason that defends their zombie apocalypse survival obsession?

“Preparing for Zombies is exactly like preparing for any other type of disaster scenario”

From Facebook Pages, Websites, Television Shows, You Tube, Movies and any other source you can think of, this reason has been used to the point that it’s starting to wash out. I’m not going to lie, since the creation of this page we’ve embraced this notion and tried to “teach” others from this point of view. But just like zombies, people are regurgitating this response over and over to show others that embracing the zombie survival genre and preparing for a zombie apocalypse is a normal and rational thing to do. I believe this is just a way of hiding a somewhat interesting reality. A reality that can be summed up into this:

“The Zombie Survivalist Just Wants the Majority of the Human Race Wiped Out”

It’s as simple and maniacal as that. Nobody cares about the survival aspect of it all. Everyone seems to think they will survive in this genre anyway. I mean what’s the point of survival if you don’t live through it? In my opinion, there are certain types of people that love this genre and might be classified in the following:

The Homicidal Sociopath: This person has fascinations of killing people but does not possess the courage to kill simply because they are afraid of the legal system and the consequences of losing their liberty. They constantly wish for a zombie apocalypse because the legal system collapses and they have free reign in satisfying that sociopath inside of them. They can murder everything they see to satisfy the demon inside of them. In the mean time they talk about killing “zombies”. Zombies are the perfect excuse to talk about killing people in a very detailed and creative way without getting into trouble with the law.

The Credit Score Defaulter: This person is up to his eyeballs in debt. He lives paycheck to paycheck and lives a very monotonous life filled with a boring routine. They want to get rid of their debt so they can be free and do as they wish. I guess these people never heard of Bankruptcy or maybe Spending limits but hey, the point is they want the bills to disappear. Obviously they want a zombie apocalypse because with the collapse of the financial system all electronic debt that we possess now will be eliminated. The only debt these people will acquire in the zombie apocalypse is how many squirrels, chickens and rabbits do I need to repay Billy. Just remember that in the Zombie Apocalypse the Bill Collector doesn’t knock on your door he just blows your brains out.

The Antisocial: This person just hates the company of others. They hate to be bothered and want to be left alone. They hate everything about society and wish for it to disappear. They constantly entertain the idea of a zombie apocalypse because it’s an antisocial wet dream. With the almost complete extinction of the human race, these people will be so happy in a world by themselves. No more annoying people or society to bother them. Interesting how they call themselves a lone wolf but yet in reality wolves can’t live without their pack.

The Attention Whore: “Look at me! Look at me! I am the leader of an elite group of people filled with tactical and survival geniuses. We have 3k pounds of Ammunition and enough rations and supply to last 10 years.” These people are really busy trying to get the attention and approval of the whole world. They usually suffer from low self esteem and crave the gratification they get when people comment on how good their plan is or how good their weapons and bug out bag is. They usually spend all day bragging about their “zombie survival” knowledge and their expensive gear. They want to be the center of attention and when they’re not, they find clever ways by commenting or doing certain negative actions that generate more attention. It doesn’t matter what type of attention it is, be it negative or positive they need it. These people extremely want a zombie apocalypse because with the elimination of the human race they will have less competition in the attention pool. It will be just them and the ones he/she finds along the way to torment.

The Control Freak: This person wants to control EVERYTHING around them. They want people to do as they say. They want everyone including strangers to take their orders and never question them. They are always right no matter what they say. These people will be the future leaders of the zombie apocalypse because they will be the most outspoken. They will use their control attributes to get into power and have everyone under their control. Their current training consists of talking in forums and face book posts about how bad ass they are. These people jump on leadership, weapon debates and scenarios. They impose their point of view until people submit. They will win no matter what reason or logic is put in their face.

The Good Samaritans: People that want to heal the world. They want everything to go to shit and in the chaos of it all they will try to help their fellow humans in this great time of crisis. They usually are Nurses, Doctors, Therapists, or any people that are in the care giving sector of society. They want a zombie apocalypse because during the chaos they can exhibit to the extreme their caring and affection towards human beings and the crisis that is at hand. These people are the ones that will stay till the end. The people that will tell you to leave the overrun hospital or nursing facility and they will ultimately die from a zombie horde defending a sick child or a weak senior citizen. They are the future martyrs of the Zombie Apocalypse.

The Extremely Overweight: You would think this genre is filled with lean, mean fighting machines. Have you taken a good look at the zombie survival members? The majority are walking with an oxygen machine from all the overweight medical conditions they have. Don’t believe me? Go to a Zombie Walk and count how many people have their BMI up to date just from looking at them. The extremely overweight come to these pages not because they want a Zombie Apocalypse that would mean the end of delicious food. They come to these pages to fill their egos and self esteems hiding their bodies under fake face book profiles. They usually have names and profile pictures that when you look at them you get the impression this guy or gal is super hot and athletic, they constantly boast how they can run and sprint 300 miles under 20 minutes. They want to live in this imaginary world of “I’m in extremely good shape and I can take down zombie hordes with my triceps”. Unconsciously they are the first ones that get offended and tell people to stop making fun of fat people. They also hate the movie Zombieland because it destroyed their chance of zombie survival by implementing Rule #1.

They are many other types of people that love this zombie genre and don’t exactly say why they like it. Don’t be afraid to tell others that you want to see the world end. That’s what the movies and genre is about. The worst thing we can do is lie to ourselves and lie to others just so they don’t think the zombie community is weird or crazy. Hey, you know what? That’s what makes us unique we are not part of the status quo. We are not fucking zombies.