A zombie apocalypse survivor coming soon to a World near you:
I screw dead people. Whatâ€™s so wrong with that? At least Iâ€™m still getting laid. Look at Mr. Muscles over there. Is he getting laid on a regular basis? No, heâ€™s not. Being a necrophiliac has its advantages. Hey, itâ€™s not like I had a choice. Being the son of the local undertaker tends to kill your love life. So, I started my jollies from the dead girls that came through the mortuary. No big harm in it, I say. I didnâ€™t hear any complaints from them. Hehe.
Well, the first time I saw a zombie was when one of the girls woke up on me. I freaked and started apologizing, thinking someone had made a mistake. Then I remembered that I had already put the embalming fluid in her. At that point I ran the hell out of there. Two days later, I was one of a few people still left alive. I packed everything I needed, plus some food and zombie survival books, into my Bug and then hit the road. Iâ€™ve been traveling ever since, fighting the undead and putting them into the ground where they belong.
â€œWHOA! Donâ€™t shoot that one. Iâ€™ll, uhm, take care of her.â€