Part 3 of Cucumber Corp Story CLICK HERE

ZAA NEWS FLASH!! ZAA NEWS FLASH!! Hung Likeahorse here. You may remember when we last came off the air I had mentioned several unusual news stories and that we had lost contact with our news crew outside Cucumber Corp HQ. Well after that the situation went from bad to worse. Police started reporting violent brutal assaults all over the city by people in either a demented state of happiness, or a crazed unresponsive rage. Hospitals were filling up with patients with deep bites, and scratches. All contact was lost with the Michael Jackson memorial hospital, when police arrived on the scene they found the ER completely overrun with crazed maniacs attacking anyone who got in their path. The city seemed to be falling into utter chaos. We then received a recorded video feed from our crew outside Cucumber corp HQ, this raised our hopes that they were safe and well. But then we watched the footage, and realized that they probably weren’t. The footage begins by showing police and Cucumber Corp security blindly firing into groups of people. People panicking and running in all directions, and being leaped on,tore apart, and seemingly eaten by other people.

One woman is seen laughing and skipping away from madness as if it wasn’t happening. As the camera follows her she’s seen fall to the ground convulsing. Several people rush over to help her. They hold her down till she stops convulsing. Then someone takes her pulse, and shakes their head. The camera pans around to show utter chaos, people still running for their lives, while others chase them. The camera pans back to the dead woman on the ground, but now she’s sitting up, kneeling beside her is the man who took her pulse, a look of shock on his face, she has a blank far away expression on hers, drool running out of her mouth. She turns towards the man kneeling beside her, then leaps at him sinking her teeth into his throat. The camera looks up to see a massive crowd heading towards the camera man some snarling some laughing the cameraman turns and runs back to the ZAA news truck. The last image we see is of the faces of the deranged maniacs as the news truck door slams shut. We were then told by the police that for our own safety the whole ZAA news team should evacuate the city. As we left we could see buildings burning uncontrollably. Emergency service vehicles heading in all directions, and sirens blaring throughout the city.

After we left the national guard set up a cordon around the city, and Government officials said “help was on the way.” At around 03:00am EST people living several miles away from the city reported seeing an extremely bright light coming from the direction of the city, followed by a massive shockwave, and finally a mushroom cloud that could be seen heading up several miles into the sky. You can probably work out for yourself what has happened. The President will be giving an emergency press conference any minute now to explain what has happened. In fact im being told we can go over to the press conference now.

“I the President of the United States of America come before you today to tell you about a terrible accident that has destroyed not only a major American city, but has cost the lives of several million of our fellow Americans. At 03:00am EST a FU69 stealth bomber on routine exercises accidentally fired one of its nuclear missiles on an American city. I guarantee you there will be a comprehensive investigation into how this happened. But as commander in chief I must accept full responsibility for this dreadful disaster. And as such…..Effective immediately……Im resigning my position as President. I hand over the Presidency to the Vice President Mrs. Sarah Railme .

Now with more on this tragic accident I hand you over to Dr Ladyboy, and General Accident. Thank you.” Well….erm….there you have it confirmation from the now former President a nuclear weapon has detonated in a major American city. This whole story and if you’ll pardon the pun the fallout from it will be talked about, and debated for a long time to come. In other news after a recent slump in Cucumber Corp share price due to the controversy with the “Luv Drug” and the trouble at Cucumber Corp HQ, today their share price soared as they announced that the new improved “Luv Drug” would be available to the general public by the end of the year. And that it was moving its whole operation to China. In a press release Cucumber Corp said it was moving to China because it was more cost-effective unfortunately this move will make over 50.000 Americans instantly unemployed. This is Hung Likeahorse after a very difficult few days saying good night…